Ivy's first birthday is two weeks from today, and as much as I want to celebrate—she's going to be ONE!—I have yet to plan anything. Because I don't know what to do about Westley.
When the subject of Ivy and her birthday and the possibility of a party was brought up earlier this month, Westley lost it. I was a little shocked by how upset he got so quickly. Westley wasn't much of a fit-thrower until recently. My only guess is that over the past few months (since preschool ended) it's really sunk in for him that the baby is here to stay. She's so here to stay, in fact, that she's having a birthday. For some reason, that fact is just intolerable.
Westley and I have been doing a lot of talking about little sisters and brothers and what it's like to have one (I'm an older sibling, too). How even though you love your sister, you can hate her sometimes too. I let him know that whatever he feels is fine—and that if you asked other kids with younger sisters, they'd probably say they have the same thoughts and feelings he does sometimes. Some of our little talks seem to have helped, but the smallest mention of Ivy's birthday still distresses him.
Obviously Ivy doesn't care whether she has a birthday party or not. (She's much too busy STANDING UP WITHOUT PULLING UP!) But I want to have some kind of little celebration, like we had when Westley turned one. And yes, it's mostly for the parents because, hey, we made it through another babyhood! High-five!
This is among the worst problems with growing a family. Not planning parties—the fact that things are never going to be fair. And even when they are fair (e.g. everyone in the family gets a birthday party), they're never going to feel fair, especially to the 5-1/2-year-old, who has decided that all presents everywhere should be for him and only him.