Thursday, August 9, 2012

My Low-High-Risk Pregnancy, Part II

Bicornuate Pregnancy

During an NST that I didn't know or didn't remember I was going to have yesterday morning, I sneaked a peek at my chart.

Vaginal spotting (none since 12 weeks)
Bicornuate uterus — [something I couldn't decipher except for the word "LEFT"]
Placenta previa — RESOLVED

The woman on the other side of the not-so-private privacy curtain from me was 32 weeks pregnant with identical twin girls. I wondered if this was how she'd imagined her pregnancy (high-risk, highly managed) and noticed that we had similar taste in toenail polish. The nurse was giving her quite a lecture for how swollen she was.

The nurse moved on to me, and beamed at the printout from the fetal monitor. "Beautiful."

Why am I even here? I wanted to ask. Instead, I just smiled weakly.

When all of this started, I didn't expect that I would still be having regular perinatologist appointments this late in my pregnancy. I guess I assumed that in the same way you can "risk out" of midwifery care, I would "low-risk out" of my high-risk OB office. Instead, it seems like every normal result and straight-A test just wins me another series of appointments.

Yesterday, my skinny baby had caught up to herself. She had a massive growth spurt over the past two weeks, and her tummy measurement is back up. Ultrasound measurements estimated she now weighs almost 7-1/2 lbs. This is fabulous news!

But not fabulous enough (apparently) to get me out of four more non-stress tests and two more ultrasounds.

I am extremely conflicted about all of this. I am so grateful, so over the moon every time one of my care providers tells me that the baby and I are doing great, everything looks perfectly normal and healthy. I feel like I've won the pregnancy lottery!

And at the same time, I am so tired of being monitored. Everything is all right, but my treatment plan suggests it could go wrong at any time.

I've already passed this test, I want to scream. Why do I have to take it again!? 

* * *

My midwives are going to do the non-stress tests (though they probably won't do four of them). This is preferable, as I would rather hang out in the midwives' office.

And the ultrasounds?

"You could just cancel them," Rob suggested.

That honestly never occurred to me.



Mama Smith said...

It is a hard predicamet, being poked and monitored makes you think about everything way more and worry... but the flip side is that you have the benedit of knowing all is good in there :)

I had a few early complications and then nothing until the sudden high blood pressure at the end, but those minor early complication made me freak out the whole pregnancy. So much so that every appointment the midwives couldn't tell if he was heads up or down and I started to worry that he had two heads. When I finally did have high blood pressure they did a late ultrasound and the woman who first looked said 'so he's head down... or no maybe not... maybe he has two heads'... she laughed and was totally joking (just a bony butt) but I was green and blurted out 'JUST TELL ME, ARE THERE TWO HEADS!!'...

All of this just to say that if you are the worrying type this monitoring can be better than the alternative. You get to know without question that you are healthy and so is your baby and you're almost done with the prodding, hurray!

Sara said...

You definitely could cancel them, but if nothing else just take comfort in the fact that the time is getting close, that one day soon your little gal will be here and all of this prodding will be over.

Carrie said...

My last successful pregnancy ended at 26 weeks with a micro-premmie after spending some weeks being fawned over by the perinatologist. I feel your pain, its not fun and the stress it causes seems to do more harm than good. I wish you all the best - Im currently pregnant again and high risk for a multitude of reasons, hope we both end up better than we thought! Ill watch your updates with interest x