Twenty-Five Weeks

On Saturday morning I sat up in bed in a mild panic wondering Where is the baby going to sleep? I hadn't even thought about it until that moment, and suddenly it seemed vitally important.

Westley has weighed in on crib location—he would like it to be in his room—but I don't imagine the baby will sleep in the crib right away. We have a hand-me-down bassinet. Maybe we'll use that.

While I understand that we have plenty of time to work out certain logistics, like sleeping arrangements, this pregnancy is progressing ridiculously quickly. I enter my third trimester in just a few weeks. The idea that there will be an actual baby joining our family becomes increasingly real every day. Extra minutes of sunlight in the evening remind me. She's coming soon.

Sometime in the dark early morning, I staggered to the bathroom and caught a glimpse of my huge, shadowy reflection. I was hit with a wave of relief that, for now, I can carry her around all the time, hands-free. I can feed her in the middle of the night without thinking about it.


* * *
Yesterday Rob and I went to the movies together for the first time in over a year. It was a sweet morning out, especially since our most frequent dates the summer I was pregnant with Westley were to the same theater. We saw The Hunger Games, and the baby rolled and kicked through the entire second act.

Through a combination of intentionally ignoring the hype and living under a pop-cultural rock, I managed to go into the film knowing almost nothing about The Hunger Games. I had osmosed that the book was hugely popular, and apparently pretty violent, but that was all. I knew nothing about the story or the characters. (It's remarkably comfortable under here. I'm sure everyone will be living under pop-cultural rocks in the future.) Seeing a film with little or no advance knowledge about it is one of my favorite experiences, hands-down, and it made date-morning and a pretty solid film that much more enjoyable. I hope The Hunger Games makes a hundred-gazillion dollars, and we finally, FINALLY start seeing more major motion pictures with female protagonists.

I certainly hope to see at least a little more equality in Hollywood by the time my daughter is old enough to be interested in movies.

* * *
The calendar for May is already very full, and I wish it weren't. I'm starting to resent all of the busyness that cuts into my sitting around time. But when I do take the time to sit around, I feel antsy. There's almost always something I could be doing. To clean, to organize, to prepare, whatever that means.

I thought I was "prepared" for Westley's birth. I wasn't even close.


My first labor was a complete shock to my entire system. It shattered my confidence. I wonder how I'll cope if labor with this baby is as difficult. (I don't expect it to be. I think this girl will come barreling out on her own, with very little help from me.) At least I won't be venturing into totally uncharted territory.


.....................................