Sunday, August 14, 2011

Is He Healthy?


My doctor recently took a bunch of my blood, on which to run a bunch of tests. It's not quite accurate to say we were hoping for bad news, but an abnormal something might clue us in to why I'm still so tired and achey and seemingly allergic to everything.

It wasn't long before my doctor called to say everything came back perfectly normal. As far as physical exams and extensive blood work can tell, I am a perfectly healthy 28-year-old woman. Which is odd, because I don't feel especially healthy. (Though I'm much better than I was three years ago.) I don't think of healthy people has having difficulty breathing or chronic pain.

After hanging up the phone, I peeked in on Westley as he peacefully napped in the middle of the big bed. He was breathing deeply, snoring lightly. He looked so perfect and beautiful to me. And I found myself wondering, with a sudden strange anxiety, Is he healthy?

I have no reason to doubt that Westley is the picture of health. He is rarely sick, and shakes off the occasional bug in what seems like a matter of hours. He's something of a picky eater, but still enjoys a huge variety of fruits. (That particular day, he'd packed away five bananas, in addition to lots of other healthful food.) At every doctor's appointment, he passes with flying colors.

But so do I. And while I may be healthy by the numbers, "health" is not usually my experience. (Or perhaps my standard of "health" is too high?)

It frightens me just a little to think that I can't really know what's going on with Westley's health. I have to trust in what I can see and measure: a boy who plays hard, sleeps well, and certainly seems to be growing stronger and learning things.



Anonymous said...

This is probably a really dumb question since I am sure you have tried giving up everything but have you ever quit caffeine/coffee? I read "Caffeine Blues" by Stephen Cherniske and it has been a game changer for my anxiety/depression. It is amazing how many systems it affects within the body and by stopping the intake of caffeine people have all but cured various diseases (including fatigue, Fibromyalgia etc) . He says it takes 60 days caffeine free-ness for the body to get back into balance. I bought into the "if you can do this for 60 days and it does not improve how you feel then you can always go back to it" theory. Caffeine is more damaging than people think and it affects all of us differently. Sorry if I am regurgitating info you have already explored! I am not an anti caffeine preacher but as someone who is also trying to beat health issues naturally I found the book extremely eye opening.

Amber @ Not Mommy said...

I have similar fears about Alexa. I'm one to never feel quite right, not that I know what "right" feels like.

Maybe since you're so in tune to your own body you're raise a son that's just as tuned in. I certainly hope he's able to tell you how he feels, and when you quote his amazing vocab I'm guessing he'll be able to!

Melissa said...

Have you ever been checked out for Chronic Fatigue Syndrome? It is often really hard to diagnose, but your symptoms are pretty textbook.