When I met Rob, I was writing about heroines in screwball comedies (It Happened One Night, The Lady Eve, Ball of Fire) and listening to break-up music (edibleRed). The screwball comedies were for a class, and the break-up music was for no reason. Certainly not for dealing with a break-up, which I've only ever experienced in preemptive form. I was just a little pessimistic about love. I was also mildly obsessed with Collette McLafferty's voice in general, and the song "As You Do" in particular.
(This is where I would put a link, but I cannot find "As You Do" anywhere online! It includes the lyric, "'Cause no one offends me as gently as you do / Then drives me on empty as sweetly as you do." So because I can't find the song I want, I'll point you to edibleRed's fantastic cover of "Hey Ya," which has a similar sound and sentiment.)
This probably could have been interpreted as a sign. Break-up songs deal, as we all know, with relationships that are strained at best. Screwball comedies revolve around a couple who are mismatched and often completely despise each other. And while I think I can truthfully say that Rob and I have never hated each other with that special kind of 1940's romantic comedy ferocity, we did not make a good match.
I think that's precisely why our marriage is stronger today, on our sixth anniversary, than it's ever been.
I appear to have a mustache in this picture, but whatever.
Last year at this time, we were falling "in like." Today, I am unquestionably in love. Perhaps not to the point of wanting to listen to sappy music, but I can definitely say that I'm a relationship optimist. My glass is well over half-full.
* * *
As I was scouring the Internet for edibleRed's "As You Do," I found another song by the same title. I'd never heard it before, but half a listen in, I shouting down the hall.
"Ohmygod, Rob! This is the song we have to walk down the aisle to at our renewal of vows ceremony!"
Yes, we're totally having a renewal of vows ceremony. Eventually. Because in addition to being about mismatched couples, screwball comedies are also about marriage—and remarriage. And for every break-up song, there is an equal and opposite "we're okay" song.
-------------------------------------Just in case you're wondering what a "preemptive break-up" is, it's when a person you're not in a relationship with takes you out for Chinese food to tell you, "I like you, but—," and then hits you with some really compelling-only-to-that-person reason why you two can't be a couple. In other words, lamesauce.