Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Just the Two of Us

When I was 16, I fantasized about someday being a single parent. I had this very romantic notion of what it would be like to have a baby—and then a child, and then a teenager—on my own. I wouldn't have to compromise on rules, approaches, or aesthetics ("Compromise: that's that thing where I don't get what I want," as Rob is fond of joking), and I'd get to say I did it all myself. Oh, the adventures my Mini Me and I would have, just the two of us!

...

Yeah, my 16-year-old self was more than a little extreme. And she had absolutely no idea what real, day-to-day motherhood, single or otherwise, looks and feels like. Twelve years of life experience later, I can say with complete confidence that there is no way I could do this on my own.

Rob is away all this week on a business trip, and once again, I find myself wondering how on earth people parent solo. I am experiencing Single Parent Time in a big way; the days seem half-again as long while, strangely, still not comprising the hours needed to get everything done! It's vexing.

H2O <3

I wasn't at all surprised to (re)discover that husbandless days are about three hours longer than I have energy for. What has caught me off-guard is my ability to push through the tiredness—especially that magical kind of tiredness that comes from not speaking with another adult all day. (I really have to stop opting for Self Checkout at the grocery store.) Much to my surprise, I have yet to catch myself zoning out, even at the end of the day. Somehow, I'm staying more tuned in to Westley, checking in with him more often, and—this is the really strange thing—feeling much less stressed-out by the stay-at-home-motherhood gig than I have in a long time.

It's a parenting paradox: I'm feeling extra tired, more isolated, and stretched even thinner than usual...and I'm enjoying my child more than ever. We're pretty awesome, just the two of us.

(But I remain beyond thankful that my partner comes home on Friday afternoon.)

.....................................

1 comment:

notmommy said...

I've dreamed about being a Gilmore Girl or one of those movies where the mom and teen daughter run off across the country on the search for a new life. I feel ya sister :-)

Then again, I'm happy when Peter gets home and I can breath again.