"Have you been drinking water?"
I shrank into my fear of authority. "Um, yes, they told me to stay hydrated—"
"I don't know who told you that. They usually want your stomach to be empty for the procedure. We'll check with the anesthesiologist."
The anesthesiologist talked to me like I was five, and my "this is what they told me over the phone" story was, to her ears, the hospital patient equivalent of "the dog ate my homework."
And just like that, my hour-long wait turned into a four-hour wait.
Fortunately, Rob was with me, and between us, we found some ways to pass the time.
- We complained about the awfulness of the situation.
- In attempt to change the mood a little, sang "Just Dance." Rob provided excellent back-up.
- I stripped off the weird paper hospital blanket and awful sticky-washcloth socks, and put back on my own underwear and jeans. Together, we ventured down the corridor to the restroom, IV bag in hand.
- I "read" Italian Vogue. Rob read "Penny Arcade" via iPad.
- Rob ate the peanut butter sandwich he'd brought, while I listed all the foods I was fantasizing about.
- We moved the two folding chairs around so that I didn't have to wait in the hospital bed, and we could sit next to each other.
- Rob suggested watching something on Netflix. We settled on 30 Rock, as we are the only people left who haven't seen it.
- Rob rubbed my feet and popped my toes, a trick he originally discovered on our honeymoon six years ago.
- We compared my chilly IV arm with my non-IV arm, and discovered that the IV arm seemed coldest when we kissed it. Naturally this lead to a conversation about dating vampires.
My D&C had originally been scheduled for 12:30 PM. The (different! much kinder!) anesthesiologist came and got me around 4:00 PM. I wish he'd told me when he put the drug in my IV, because I was asleep before I even knew I should be feeling sleepy.
If there is any silver lining to the black cloud of suck that has been raining over the last three months, it's that I have a partner to stand with under my umbrella (ella ella, eh eh eh).
Thanks for being my unflappable support person, baby.