Since ditching IUD numero dos a few months ago, I have become a hyper-crazy symptom-watcher. Every twinge or tummy rumble can only mean One Thing:
"I must be pregnant!"
The non-plan plan had been to treat the (maybe) having another child thing in a very relaxed, no-big-deal fashion. No talk of "trying" or timing or ovulation. We'd just go about our normal, everyday activities (though not, ahem, every day) and not think about it.
Except that I can't stop thinking about it! I am a preganoid lunatic.
So I do things like come out of the bathroom topless and stick my chest in my husband's face. "Do they look bigger?"
"Not really."
"But feel!"
"Um...they feel about the same. Maybe a little smaller than yesterday, actually."
Because, yes, I made him do this yesterday too.
Over the past two weeks, when I haven't been making my husband manually estimate my bra size, I've been taking naps and crying over every little thing (including but not limited to Disney's Robin Hood and not one but two Katy Perry videos!). I remind myself that I haven't been sleeping well, and that sleep deprivation (in me) means teariness and even sometimes nausea. So I'm probably just really tired. But what if I'm pregnant? Oh, God, I'm totally pregnant!
Besides, lack of sleep doesn't explain why I've been craving curried everything. (Black bean curry, potato curry, delicata squash curry, mmm...)
Last night, I had heartburn for the first time in, um...ever? No, wait. There was that one other time. When I was PREGNANT!
The problem is I go through this every month. And then every month, I get my period and feel like an idiot. For about a week and a half, and then I decide once again that I'm pregnant. And I think about taking a pregnancy test, even though I'm probably not pregnant and even if I were, it's way too early to test. Some months, I take a test anyway. The little 'minus' sign convinces me about half the time.
Someone should make giant, economy packs of pregnancy tests for crazy girls like me who want to take one every day. Or maybe I should skip a step and just start peeing on $10 bills.
(As I'm writing this, Rob is out shopping for more curry ingredients and a box of Mother to Be tea. I think he might be an enabler.)
9 comments:
Because I was also crazy when I was trying-but-not-trying to get pregnant, I learned that the dollar store sells pregnancy tests. And they're pretty accurate.
Maybe you're uber sensitive to progesterone changes? I know I am, and I spend at least 10 days after I ovulate swearing that I'm pregnant.
Trying to concieve is crazy making.
I, too, think I'm pregnant every month. And, we're not trying; not at all. So, it's quite stress-inducing. I just think that PMS symptoms after I had Luna are now the same as my early pregnancy symptoms. I've taken my share of tests lately too!
Oh man I have had some serious preganoia in the past. Before I got pregnant with E, I took a pregnancy test every month and we weren't even talking about having a baby. That said, I knew I was pregnant with A before the test did. About a week before the test confirmed it I was totally having symptoms. I took a million tests that week like "wtf I'm totally pregnant and these tests are shit" and guess what I was right. A few days later the good ole + sign popped up.
Maybe you are really in tune with your body. You can sense the primal changes that occur every month, and maybe you are just really looking forward to being pregnant! I'm excited for you to be pregnant again because then you can share in the insanity of two babies!
I have a confession to make...last month I peed on 4 sticks, lol...so what $30 down the toilet :P
I was SURE I was pregnant, then weirdly disappointed when I got my period.
Suffice to say, this month we're actually "trying". OH WOW I just admitted that!
I forgot to say, I've never actually had a negative test, so I was surprised that my body would fool me soooooooo well! Guess my hormones were telling me something, they wanted another baby. HA!
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WHERE WAS I WHEN YOU POSTED THIS? This was during my blogging hiatus I think. I. ADORE. THIS. POST. because it basically sums up my current state of INSANITY. "convinces you half the time" AMEN! I love, love, love this.
I vow upon this post to not take another test until my super cheap, ordered-online bulk pregnancy tests arrive in the mail. Soleil took 2 years to arrive, so you can imagine my "grocery" bills.
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