A year ago, I nursed Westley for the last time.
I struggled so hard with breastfeeding. At first, because it was really difficult and painful and I had to wake Westley up to feed him. And later, because it made me feel anxious and trapped.
I could take him to [name of any number of places I might've gone]. But what if he needs to nurse?
It took me way too long to figure out that if you take the baby somewhere, and he needs to nurse, you just FIND A PLACE TO FUCKING NURSE HIM. And everything is FINE. (Especially if you have a husband who, while being a complete and total pacifist at any other moment, will happily kick the snot out of someone who gives a woman shit for nursing in public.)
I breastfed everywhere. In the fabric store. During brunch. At the doctor's office before, during, and after every single one of Westley's vaccine shots. In a moving car (just once!). One of my favorite memories is of wandering through the (now closed) Goddess Shoppe with a two-month-old baby happily chowing down at my breast.
At the time, I hated breastfeeding. I was miserable, wondering why I'd signed up for this gig. Of course, being a mammal, I hadn't really "signed up," per se. I just let my biology take me along for the ride, and I let it make me crazy. When Westley was teeny and refused to eat, I'd threaten him: "I'll show you. I'll nurse you 'til you're twelve." Sixteen months later, I was afraid I'd have to make good on that.
But no. (Thank goodness.)
Then, shortly after my breasts got the memo to stop making milk, something really strange happened. I decided the whole breastfeeding thing was pretty awesome. And furthermore, I sort of rocked for having stuck with it! I totally deserve a pat on the back (or the front, really).
Westley and I nursed for almost 2 years. A year post-weaning, I can finally say that I love breastfeeding.
hours old (minutes before I started crying)
(not quite) 3 months old
4 months old
9 months old
17 months old
19 1/2 months old
5 comments:
Breastfeeding has its moments but I have to say now that I'm doing it all over again (2 kids in 2 years), I'm starting to hate it. I'm the kind of mama who just straps the baby on and nurses on the go so I'm not trapped at home or anything but sometimes I get sick of having something touching me (all of the time).
Growth spurts, sickness, comfort, etc. ARG - can you tell by this comment that I was up all night nursing a sick baby???
Anyway when Emma weaned at 16 months I was ready, partially because of the pregnancy but I was sick of the commitment, however, once she did it I was really sad. Weird how that works.
Congrats on your milestone - you should be proud for making it 2 years!
I love all the pictures! I look back fondly on the two years I nursed Luna. I, too, pat myself on the back. It was freaking hard work!
I know it's partly the angle, but he seriously looks like a GIANT in the last picture. It's crazy to think that any of us were ever as small as he was in the top photo, and now he's such a big dude.
Seriously, way to go for sticking it out so long. I really loved it with Julian and I love it with Audrey now. Also, seeing teensy tiny brand new Westley in that photo makes me freak out and go, "I want a brand new baby!! This 8 month old one is too old! I need a NEW one!" Clearly, I'm completely crazy.
I can't believe it's been a year already! That means he's almost 3?!?!
You deserve a huge pat on the back, and front lol, for making it 2 years! Alexa is 20 months now and still nurses here and there. I'll be happy when it's over, but sad at the same time. It really is easier to let them wean themselves, well kinda sorta. I can't imagine cutting her off back when she was 1, but then again...my life may be a bit easier had I done just that.
Hey, you even breast fed when he was on the other side of the country!
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