Rob has been sick for almost a week. (He's going to the doctor tomorrow.) We could probably fill the bathtub several times over with all of the tea and soup I've been making. Our whole house smells like onion, garlic, and ginger.
When I asked Rob if I could get him anything from the store this afternoon, I was expecting him to ask for a bottled smoothie, or something equally throat-soothing and overflowing with vitamin C.
His reply? "Something not tea or soup. Maybe a cookie?"
I thought about buying a bag of vegan trail-mix cookies from Trader Joe's. But that would inevitably lead to Westley asking, "Can I have a cookie?" every five minutes. So I racked my brain, wondering where in the area I could get one ABC cookie. When I realized it would be at least a 20-minute drive to acquire said cookie, and it occurred to me that if Rob is going to get a cookie, I should also get a cookie, I gave up.
Fuck it. I'm making cookies from scratch.
(Yes, I realize, this doesn't solve the problem of the "Can I have a cookie?"-at-five-minute-intervals conversation. But at least I can make as many or as few cookies as I want.)
I paid way too much at the local chain grocery store for my "natural" ingredients, but whatever. Westley would be napping when I got home, and he'd get to wake up to the smell of freshly baked cookies.
I gluten- and soy-freed the Big Gigantoid Crunchy Peanut Butter-Oatmeal Cookies from Vegan with a Vengeance. After taking them out of the oven and waiting the recommended 10 minutes before transferring them to cooling racks, I stood back to admire my work.
Me: What is it about homemade cookies?
Rob: The awesomeness?
Me: There's so much love in them.
Rob: You don't make cookies for someone you hate.
And this summed up why I'm starting a gluten-free, soy-free vegan food section here (very soon! I've already taken a bunch of [bad] food pictures, and I have thoughts and recipes and randomness ready to share). Caring is a huge part of feeding my family. I shop and cook the way I do because being hands-on and do-it-yourself in the kitchen is something I believe in very strongly. But I also do it because I just plain love these people I live with, and I want them to eat well.
Unfortunately, way too often, I fall through the cracks in this food-love relationship. I'll make delicious, flaky whole wheat biscuits for Rob and Westley, and nothing for myself. I'll buy an ingredient that makes me sick, or plan a meal I can't eat. Rob's comment about cookies made me realize it's time for a little more self-love in the kitchen. Instead of hating my dietary restrictions, self-imposed and health-imposed alike, I can celebrate them. To paraphrase the great philosopher RuPaul, "If you can't make cookies for yourself, how the hell you gonna make cookies for somebody else?"
I have to start making cookies - and meals and drinks and snacks - for myself. (Can I get a Amen up in here?)