When Rob and I bought our car two years ago, it seemed like everywhere I looked there was a new car. When our house was on the market -- both when we bought it and when we were selling it -- I saw real estate signs everywhere. So of course now that Westley is six months and some-odd weeks old, I can't help but notice all of the...preschools.
There are preschools everywhere I look, and I'm suddenly wildly curious about them all. I know there are parents who fill out preschool enrollment forms practically the same day they see the double lines on the pee stick, but I'm not that kind of person. I don't know which of the preschools in my area is the best, which have mile-long wait lists, or what my preschool education philosophy is. Honestly, I only recently became aware that there were major schools of thought with respect to educating three- and four-year-olds. Um, isn't preschool just about learning to say goodbye to your mom and being able to sit in a circle on the rug and sing songs? Apparently not.
So now, while my little dude slithers around the floor of our apartment, part of me is wondering if I should be looking for a Montessori 0-3 program somewhere, or at least touring the classrooms of some local preschools. And yesterday, I found myself looking at local kindergarten admission policies online while I waited for dinner to finish cooking -- because 7 months is practically 5 years, right? -- and then I had a little internal meltdown, wondering whether or not it was really a good idea to be thinking about sending Westley to Catholic school when no one in his family except his mother is Catholic, and she's not even a very good Catholic, and was is fair to him when the kids he'd be going to school with would most likely be coming from much more religious homes than his and what about the whole vegan thing and how am I going to help him and oh shit, oh shit.
Something about having a child has done this to me: I can whip myself into a minor panic with a stream of run-on what ifs. The same process that made my hips wider and my hair curly has made it possible for me to go from curiosity to insecurity in twenty-four hours!
Maybe I should be thinking about going to school myself, and putting all of this mental energy to work.